[AlanHo]

Has anyone ever conquered the problem of how to open a plastic bottle of bleach – or is it just me having weak thumbs.

The top has two pads which you are supposed to squeeze inwards. This distorts the plastic top and opens out two protuberances on the inside which theoretically release it from two protuberances on the bottle top to enable you to turn the cap and open the bottle.

Libby returned from shopping today and asked me to open a bottle of bleach. I used all my strength to squeeze the cap in enough to turn it and failed. I then used both hands to squeeze the cap pads in whilst Libby turned the bottle – that was also a dismal failure.

I then ventured outside in the snow to get some mole grips from my shed – which again proved to be a failure.  Even they couldn’t squeeze the cap pads enough

I finished up using a Stanley knife to cut away the bottom half of the cap to remove the lower ring which contained the “locking bits”.

I was then presented with a screw top which proved impossible to open by hand – but the Mole Grips solved that little problem.

This has become a weekly chore because Libby is a bleach addict and it has become a significant part of the grocery bill. I always flush the toilet before using it -  otherwise any splashes could cause a major injury – or is that too much information?

So damn the guy who designed the bleach bottle and cap – he clearly has not realised that there are old people in this World whose wives use gallons of bleach – and lack the superhuman strength and tenacity to open the bloody bottles.

Rant over – I’ll get my coat.

[CraigB]

At least you got it off eventually (the cap ) is it one of the caps that require pushing hard down on at the same time as squeezing and turning I've had neighbours knock on my door before to open those bloody things for them.

[AlanHo]

No need to squeeze down - just squeeze in. I've cut the tops off the 3 bottles she bought tonight, otherwise I would take a picky.

This is a stock photo of an identical bottle. You can see the pad you squeeze in facing you.

[Dazzler]

We can't use anything like bleach it would kill the worms in our Biolytix Sewerage treatment system, but I don't usually have too much trouble with those "child proof" caps.

It appears the Bleach bottles you are talking about are a slightly different design which are even harder to open though. 

[Shambles]

You're doing it incorrectly.

Sure, pinch the flat spots inwards but apply clockwise torque to start with, then ease it counter clockwise as usual.

And if that doesn't work, change your bleach allegiance to Tesco's Everyday Value bleach.

[AlanHo]

Steve - we used to shop at Tesco but management has changed her allegiance to Asda and Aldi.

I didn't find the Tesco ones easy - but managed it.  The one's she is buying now are really hard to open.  I have a touch of arthritis in my hands which doesn't help - not uncommon for the demographics who tend to buy bleach.

I guess it is entirely appropriate on the 70th anniversary of the NHS that we question the myth of both physical and mental well-being and our blind addiction to such a myth.

Before 1948, dying of the plague was no more than just another ingredient of living; it was accepted, we didn't moan about it, we got on with it, we did what all true Englishmen did and shuffled off our mortal coil without any fuss or bother, with a bang, not with a whimper (how else did we get this Empire?).
 
Sadly, since Lister and the advent of penicillin, this creeping neurosis of wanting to live forever has so eroded our former elan, our former glory, our former state of grace, we now find ourselves spending most of our days scouring supermarkets and other pharmacopoeia looking for ever-stronger anti-bacterial, anti-viral and anti-fungal solutions in order to sterilize our homes , our lifestyles and our other waking moments generally.

We even go to such extremes as washing our hands before leaving the bathroom. Our neurosis is now so far embedded in the post NHS world that our return to a Paradise Lost would be impossible without at least one bottle of bleach three times daily!

The fact that we, none of us, can ever open these bottles without first cutting off most of our fingers is nothing more than a side issue, surely, not important at all?

[mickd]

How about a cheap rechargeable drill ? ,
Could try white vinegar,  kills germs and stuff but won't bleach it white .
Won't burn the privates with the back-splash    👍

[The Gonz]

I presume eBay and other web sites are loaded with kitchen aids for the infirm / young / old to manage opening such containers.

Here's some nice reading:
Facilitating bespoke Design for All - Pietro Duchi
Bleach Bottle Opener

[CraigB]

@AlanHo One way to put an end to all of societies modern day disappointments is to just drink the bleach    

[AlanHo]

I presume eBay and other web sites are loaded with kitchen aids for the infirm / young / old to manage opening such containers.

Here's some nice reading:
Facilitating bespoke Design for All - Pietro Duchi
Bleach Bottle Opener

@gonz : Thanks for that - most interesting

[tla]

Have you tried using nut crackers to remove the cap, like NUTCRACKER CHROME Nut Cracker Walnut Almond Sheller Opener Kitchen Aid Tool | eBay

[AlanHo]

You can't use anything that grips the perimeter of the cap. The design intends you to squeeze in the tabs so that the bottom half of the cap becomes oval and should release the internal protuberance on the 90 degree diagonal from its mate on the bottle and allow the cap to turn.

I used mole grips vertically so they squeezed just the tabs but even with the tabs now almost jammed against the bottle the part of the cap (now oval) that moved out did not move out enough to clear the opposing protuberances.

The Tesco ones work on the same principal but - with difficulty - I can open those.

I sent an Email to a few friends on the subject and 2 of them have met the same problem. One of them simply drills a hole in the top of the bleach bottle and empties the bleach into a screw top bottle for his wife to use.

I am not allowed to shop at Tesco for good reason. A son in law of Libby works for Tesco and 18 months ago he went to the aid of a security guard who had tried to stop two shoplifting Somalis. They had 4 mates in the shop who joined in and the result was the guard and our SIL were badly hurt and hospitalised. Our son in law has spinal injuries and can no longer walk far, stand for long, ride his beloved trike or lift anything even remotely heavy.  He was off work for months and had to fight Tesco for compensation and to be transferred to part-time lighter duties. The outcome has be most unsatisfactory and Libby will no longer shop there.

[The Gonz]

I understand the principle and the limitations but a customised tool which is both flat and thin enough can squeeze just the right parts properly - get creative!

[The Gonz]

Alan, that type of cap is usually composed of both an inner and outer cap.
The inner closes tightly around the thread while the outer is what gets deformed over the locking lugs.

Just separate the two caps and discard the outer.

Some more ideas here: How to Make Evil Childproof Caps Easy to Open: 10 Steps (with Pictures)

[eye30]

Have you penned a complaint to the customer services yet?

You can point out that although child proof it is also aho proof.

They might provide a cap extraction tool if one exists or you may offer to design one for them.

They may offer some form of compo for the stress and anxiety you are suffering

[AlanHo]

You have a point there Lester - I didn't realise I was suffering from stress and discomfort until you kindly pointed it out.

I have decided on a solution. The large bottles of Domestos have the type of cap you just press down on and turn. Libby can manage those - so I have resigned from bleach opening duties. If she comes home with any more of the smaller bottles neither of us can open - she is on her own.

[Shambles]

Good thinking.

Just like this idea, here below:

1. Put bleach bottle in freezer
2. Wait 24 hours
3. Remove bleach bottle from freezer
4. Serve as required

(click to show/hide)

[Dazzler]

I understand the principle and the limitations but a customised tool which is both flat and thin enough can squeeze just the right parts properly - get creative!

Jeepers!  Anyone would think Alan was a retired engineer or something!!

[Dazzler]

Good thinking.

Just like this idea, here below:

1. Put bleach bottle in freezer
2. Wait 24 hours
3. Remove bleach bottle from freezer
4. Serve as required

(click to show/hide)

  That idea leaves me cold!

[mickd]

You have a point there Lester - I didn't realise I was suffering from stress and discomfort until you kindly pointed it out.

I have decided on a solution. The large bottles of Domestos have the type of cap you just press down on and turn. Libby can manage those - so I have resigned from bleach opening duties. If she comes home with any more of the smaller bottles neither of us can open - she is on her own.

NOW  you're thinking,  problem solved 👍

[Shambles]

Has anyone ever conquered the problem of how to open a plastic bottle of bleach – or is it just me having weak thumbs.

[AlanHo]

Oh you are awful - but I like you.....

[Dazzler]