[AlanHo]

My KIA Nio hybrid car has been the subject of a safety recall because a couple of cars had set on fire in America. Investigation there revealed that a small batch of cars built in January 2017 were affected which, as my luck would have it, included my car. An input shaft between the electric motor and
the gearbox had not been super-finished to the proper standard and was quickly wearing away an oil seal. Oil had leaked into an electrical junction box for the cabling to the 600 volt hybrid battery that caused the fires.

My car went into the KIA dealers today for rectification. I waited while they did it. My wife asked me to drop our summer duvet into the Morrison Supermarket's dry cleaners on the way home, and to buy a few grocery items she needed.

As I walked along the shop I passed the deli counter, (from where I bought one of their delicious large Melton Mobray Pork pies) and alongside it, the counter where they sell roast chickens - whole or in pieces. They are in trays in the glazed hot cabinet. I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to have chicken for our evening meal and the trolley obliged by taking a sharp turn left to take me to the chicken counter, with the chicken chorus shouting "buy me". (Neither the pork pie nor the chicken were on my wife's shopping list - but what the hell - I fancied them).

The assistant, who was a stunningly attractive 50 (ish) year old lady, asked me what I would like. I resisted the urge to tell her, and instead asked for a chicken.
(No - I didn't pull out my phone and take her picture)

She said "aren't there any ready packed ones on the cold shelf to your left?"

"I don't want a cold one" I replied.

"But they are not cold sir - I have only just packed four and put them there"

I must have looked bewildered and she said "If you buy one from the hot cabinet - it will cost you £5.50. The ones on the cold shelf are £4.50"

Me..."If they are the same chickens and they are all hot - why the price difference - it doesn't make sense"

"It's because chicken from the hot cabinet is classed as 'take-away food' and we have to charge VAT - but chicken from the cold shelf is classed as just 'food' and is free of VAT"

So I bought a freshly cooked hot chicken from the cold shelf and I am still bewildered. You couldn't make it up - as the saying goes. (And before some clever clogs points it out - I am aware that £4.50 + 20% is actually £5.40)

It was jolly nice though - with McCains Home Chips cooked in our deep fat fryer. Accompanied by mixed vegetables comprising cut beans, peas and broad beans.

[Dazzler]

Love your random stories Alan. They are every bit as good as mine! 

If I was 20 years older, lost some weight, grew some hair and had a Nephew who was an airline pilot we could be twins. 

[Blazorax]

The assistant, who was a stunningly attractive 50 (ish) year old lady, asked me what I would like.

Since you didnt say "You" - she got upset and charge you extra for not taking the initiative   - that is how i am reading it, the female mind is mysterious

[mickd]

Allan's brain and wallet have made the mental note :
That when looking for hot chicks ,  check out the hot chick section first. .

[Dazzler]

Allan's brain and wallet have made the mental note :
That when looking for hot chicks ,  check out the hot chick section first. .

Sounds good to me. 

[AlanHo]

If I was 20 years older, lost some weight, grew some hair and had a Nephew who was an airline pilot we could be twins. 

Except that I don't have a nephew who is an airline pilot.

However - I have a son who is a British Airwaves captain.

Also - you don't need to grow much hair - mine is waving goodbye at a rapid rate of knots.

[Dazzler]

If I was 20 years older, lost some weight, grew some hair and had a Nephew who was an airline pilot we could be twins. 

Except that I don't have a nephew who is an airline pilot.

However - I have a son who is a British Airwaves captain.

Also - you don't need to grow much hair - mine is waving goodbye at a rapid rate of knots.

Yes @AlanHo , but I was your twin, your son would be my Nephew.. Please try to keep up! 

[AlanHo]

Yes @AlanHo , but I was your twin, your son would be my Nephew.. Please try to keep up! 

My feeble little brain stands no chance of keeping up with such tortuous, confusing, rambling and wildly frightening thoughts.................