You know this World is complicated and imperfect and oppressed
And it’s not hard to feel timid, apprehensive and depressed
It seems all around us tides of questions ebb and flow
And people want solutions but they don’t know where to go
Opinions abound about who is wrong and who is right
People need a prophet – a diffuser of the light
Someone they can turn to – as the crisis’s rage and swirl
Someone with the remedy – the wisdom – the pearl
Well they should have asked our forum – They’d have told them without favour
Their thoughts on service charges, cost of parts and service labour
The ‘elf and safety culture, the different types of tyres
The optional accessories and where to plug the wires
Yes they should have asked our Forum, for no problem is too much
They can recommend a tuning box or solve a dodgy clutch
Got a problem with a re-spray, is your idling speed too low
Just run it past our Forum, wind them up and let them go
Congestion on the motorways, speed cameras, exhaust pipes,
air pollution, car emissions, and the cost of vinyl stripes
These may defeat the brain of any normal motoring bloke
But present it to to the Forum and they'll solve it at a stroke
i30 cars a specialty – if your problem is confusing
They’ll trump up instant remedies some experts find amusing
Re-mapping, 6 speed boxes, DPF’s and turbo boosting
The DIY directory of how to do things on a shoe string
Glow plugs that don’t function, a turbo nearly dead
Front tracking that is miles out and tyres with scrubbed off tread
Fitting deafening speakers, and protectors on the sills
The guys here on the forum have the cure for all your ills
They will clarify the situation, They will make it crystal clear
You’ll feel the glazing of your eyeballs and the bending of your ear
Upon these tricky areas their collective intellect's applied
In a compelling flood of sound advice that’ll be a damn good guide
The lads here on the forum are a happy helpful bunch
Who give out lots of sound advice - and not just a random hunch
So when next you have a problem - post the details on this wall
Why trust a dodgy service shop – when our Forum knows it all....................
.............
Based on the poem "My husband" by Pam Ayres 2002
